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No Where to go…Now Here to BE

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1 No Where to go…Now Here to BE on Fri Jul 12, 2013 8:15 pm


No Where to go…Now Here to BE
Posted on July 12, 2013by Coming Back Home to the Heart
Standing on a precipice there is no where to go.
There is no where to BE.
No where… is “now here”… which is in essence no where.
I know this…”yet”..
How can I feel I stand upon a precipice?
There is actually no thing beneath my feet.
There is no thing at all surrounding me.
Merely reflections…of me.
So why not step off the plane of illusion;
Into the abyss…into the void?
To return to “from whence I came”
I have been here so many times…more than I can count.
Lifetime and lifetime, again and again.
Each time I appeared to find something to hang on to,
Something to grasp; to cling to.
“Then” I believed it to be real.
Now I know better.
You see it was never really there.
I just wanted it to be so,
So I found a way a to be a lie unto myself.
Belief is after all… being a lie.
I have been everyone
I have been everything
There is nothing left that I have not been,
Except no-thing-ness. Which is in essence…ALL that IS!
I have truly done it All…been it ALL.
All I AM and I AM ALL,
Yet I hang onto…”what” exactly?
So why do I still cling to that which can only be of the illusionary realm?
To reach to that which no longer serves?
Why can not I simply drop and release that which no longer serves?
Perhaps because part of me still believes part of it to be real?
Letting go, as so much a part of me calls for just that, Is this my greatest wish?
By the end of each day it feels as though I can take no more,
Yet I continue to awaken to “more of this” each morning… to “this”.
Why? Why exactly?
To more… of the same; some moments more difficult than others.
What is “this”? It has no name and wears no label.
A question that has no answer?
There seems to find little relief anymore,
Other than to disconnect from the physical momentarily.
There I find myself…immersed in my true essence,
Experienced in a way that I “would choose” to live life.
Yet I always return “to here”. Where does my “choice” lie exactly?
Why I ask? Why do I play such a cruel cosmic joke on myself?
Why do I bother continuing to return here?
Perhaps it is the other parts of me; the other shards; fragmented and shattered; that I simply wish to point toward home…but how can that be fulfilled…now? What can I offer to the equation? This one has no answers, only questions.
For a while now part of me knew instinctively that it would come to this.
Wanting ever so much to release this body; getting worse before it could get better.
Yet that option continues to be “out of my reach”…somehow.
Exhaustion beyond measure, that I find little relief from;
Release seems not be an option…at least not yet.
The only rest is to absent from the body
When shall such absence be allowed permanence?
Let go, step off..into the void; the abyss.
Of no-thing-ness, into utter no-where- ness.
I have apparently chosen to experience this…in sense of aloneness.
However to be alone is to truly BE “All One”.
I can only but read the accounts of “others”.
You see are there truly “any others”?
There is only the One…that I AM.
In the stillness…to discover the ALL in the One.
I conclude…that is the lesson…the final one!
Then I can awaken from this dream…and have a good laugh!
Surely I shall create a great company of “hosts” to gather around the campfire! To confirm a task well executed. It shall seem as only yesterday that it all begun! Yet now it seems to drag on…forever!
As it is…so shall it BE! Freedom comes…one way or another,
So I shall SEE …and Truly Re-member…to BE.

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  I became insane, with long intervals of horrible sanity ~ Edgar Allan Poe

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