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Shining Bright and Squeaky Clean – Part 1&2

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1 Shining Bright and Squeaky Clean – Part 1&2 on Fri Nov 01, 2013 11:02 am


Shining Bright and Squeaky Clean – Part 1/2
Posted by Steve Beckow on October 31, 2013   /   Comments Off
Category: Uncategorized  

I don’t know about you, but I genuinely find myself in strange waters these days.
Often I feel love arising in me and sometimes flowing outwards, and then something occurs and I feel shame and worry that overpower the new way I’m feeling.
This can feel confusing.
Feeling shame arises from a way of being that I was conditioned in. Some of the parents of my generation’s childhood (not all) seemed to use a child-rearing method, which I think Dr. Spock was addressing, that appeared to resemble – I hate to say it – dog training school.
When we did something they approved of, they’d say “good boy”; when we did something they disapproved of, they’d say “bad boy.” And when they saw us as bad boys (or girls), they’d add: “You oughtta be ashamed of yourself.”
This led to what the psychologists of our generation called a “shame-based identity.” We are at the moment in a transition, I say, from a shame-based identity to a love-based identity, the major feature of which, as a friend reminds me, is the absence of judgment, including self-judgment.
Well, now as we move into higher-dimensional life, this conditioning continues to go off whenever I make what I perceive of as a mistake.  And so I wanted to discuss how I’ve resolved to manage entering this strange land we’re in and this kind of a shame-based mind attack when it happens.
It’s been a consistent trait with me that I’ve always chosen to work on the frontier of knowledge. That has lost me a few Ph.D.’s when my advisors have said that what I was studying was not within the purview of the discipline (cultural history in history) or within the purview of the university (enlightenment in religious studies).
But I preferred to stay with my studies and left the university.
The manner in which I enter and move out into a new field these days is by establishing a beachhead, as the Allies did on D-Day, and then moving out from there.
And the beachhead is established by arriving at an initial distinction, upon which I plant my flag. It was Werner Erhard who taught me the value of distinctions. I test the distinction out to see whether it’s valid and then see where it leads.
I then move from one distinction to the next, and the next, etc. (We’ll come to shame in a moment.)
This occurred for me the other day as a result of a discussion with a friend. I noticed I was in the new land of love, the vestibule of the Fifth Dimension, (1) and yet an upset had occurred and the shame I felt was pulling me back to Third Dimensionality.
Actually this did not happen only once, but two or three times. Because I was in the new land of love, this occurrence, this rising of shame pulling me back to Third-Dimensionality, was starkly visible, whereas as long as I was in Third Dimensionality I’d imagine it was invisible – part of what Werner called “the background of obviousness.”
And I knew I had to establish a beachhead if I was to hold my ground in Fifth Dimensionality rather than retreat.
Then a realization or distinction occurred to me: Though I had no empirical evidence for the thought, I knew in my bones that, if I wanted to remain shining brightly, I had to be squeaky clean.  If I wanted to continue to feel the love I do these days, then my integrity had to be unquestioningly in and untainted.
“Squeaky clean” is yet another distinction I learned from Werner. (2) But “shining brightly” comes from Plotinus and I’ll reproduce his discussion of that below. It’s one of the seminal passages from the wise that I read over and over again. (3)
If I allowed my integrity to go out, then I lost my place in the vestibule of Fifth Dimensionality and had to retreat to Third Dimensionality.
So this called for vigilance and commitment.
(Continued in Part 2. Readers are welcome to read ahead if they wish to, but I’m trying not to overload you.)
(1) We have our foot inside Fifth Dimensionality. We’re on a lower plane of it. We have not yet had sahaja samadhi or Ascension, which will transform our characters utterly.
Steve: How could I be Fifth Dimensional and not have had sahaja nirvikalpa samadhi?
Archangel Michael: You are looking to the Fifth Dimension as simply being one place or another and you do not know that you are not in training and that you are … on the verge of samadhi.
So it is a preparation and those preparation phases … as we have said, there are many levels to each dimension. (“Entering the Mental Plane – Part 1″ at
Est trainers would ask us if we knew what it felt like to walk down the street squeaky clean. At the time I did not. These days I am seeing more what that looks like and what it’s benefits are.
While I can’t find a reference to squeaky cleanness, here’s one to cleanness:
“Dirty communication is irresponsible. It puts the source of your experience outside yourself. Clean communication is responsible. It places you in the picture as the source of your experience.”  (est Communications Workshop Leader Jed Naylor, Oct. 1980.)  See est Dictionary at
From the Free Dictionary:
squeak·y-clean (skwk-kln)
adj. Informal
1. Perfectly clean: squeaky-clean hair.
2. Free from moral fault or taint; untarnished and virtuous: “Despite its squeaky-clean image, [the agency] suffered waste and inefficiency” (William D. Marbach).
(2) Plotinus: How will one see this immense beauty that dwells, as it were, in inner sanctuaries and comes not forward to be seen by the profane?
Let him who can arise, withdraw into himself, forego all that is known by the eyes, turn aside forever from the bodily beauty that was once his joy. He must not hanker after the graceful shapes that appear in bodies, but know them for copies, for traceries, for shadows, and hasten away towards that which they bespeak. …
Withdraw into yourself and look. … Do as does the sculptor of a statue that is to be beautified: he cuts away here, he smooths it there, he makes this line lighter, this other one purer, until he disengages beautiful lineaments in the marble. Do you this, too.
Cut away all that is excessive. straighten all that is crooked, bring light to all that is overcast, labor to make all one radiance of beauty. Never cease “working at the statue” until there shines out upon you from it the divine sheen of virtue….
Have you become like this? Do you see yourself, abiding within yourself, in pure solitude? Does nothing now remain to shatter that interior unity, nor anything cling to your authentic self? Are you entirely that sole true light which is not contained by space, not confined to any circumscribed form, not diffused as something without term, but ever immeasurable as something greater than all measure and something more than all quantity? Do you see yourself in this state?
Then you have become vision itself. Be of good heart. Remaining here you have ascended aloft. You need a guide no longer. Strain and see. (Plotinus in Elmer O’Brien, ed., The Essential Plotinus. Representative Treatises from the Enneads. Toronto: New American Library, 1964, 40-3.)

Thanks to:

  I became insane, with long intervals of horrible sanity ~ Edgar Allan Poe


Shining Bright and Squeaky Clean – Part 2/2
Posted by Steve Beckow on November 1, 2013   /   Comments Off
Category: Uncategorized  

(Continued from Part 1.)
The feeling of shame I now see as a warning signal.  If I feel shame, I’m doing or about to do something whose integrity is at least questionable. It’s me warning myself.
And I need to exercise commitment, a factor of will, to avoid going where I’m going. This is getting easier and easier to do these days, by the way.
Will and commitment are to consciousness as muscle and effort are to the body. Commitment is an action of will and will itself is a feature of consciousness. And consciousness is what we are, not this body or anything associated with it and not even this mind, which is a higher-dimensional “body” but still not who we are.
So my distinction, my testable hypothesis becomes: If I want to continue shining brightly, then I have to remain squeaky clean. The price of continuing to shine is squeaky-clean integrity.
If I want to remain squeaky clean, I need to exercise my commitment to do so  and I need to love doing so. I need to appreciate the feeling that being squeaky clean brings to me, independent of any rewards.
A commitment to being squeaky clean in my behavior is what holds me to the new Fifth-Dimensional framework and perspective. Shame, for now, alerts me to a situation where I may be straying from squeaky-clean integrity and, if I do stray, I may have to give up shining or remaining as love in a higher-dimensional world.
Shame itself is a vasana (a triggered, upset-producing behavior pattern traceable to traumatic events in the past) and would be handled as any other vasana. We’ve gone over that ground so often, that I leave that subject aside for now. (1)
I may make conscious choices to take a course of action that others may not agree with and so I can and will be assailed for what they see as departing from integrity.
Whether I have or not is something that’s really only “verifiable by me” as the actor in the last analysis and, as one friend says, the “man in the mirror.” That can lead to self-serving behavior and rationalization in many people but it’s becoming more and more difficult for a lightworker to be self-serving.
And there’s no escaping the situation being verifiable by me anyways. I am the only one who can decide if a course of action is a mistake for me. No one else can. Yes, I can be sentenced to jail by a judge who decides that the action lacked integrity. But, in the final analysis, whether the act is a mistake or not is a matter to be decided by me and my Maker.
So I establish a beachhead in a strange, new land, by establishing an initial distinction, testing it out, and then moving out from there. And the distinction I have established as my first beachhead into the strange, new land of Fifth Dimensionality is that if I want to remain shining bright, I must remain squeaky clean in my integrity.
(1) See the many articles under “On Processing Vasanas” at

Thanks to:

  I became insane, with long intervals of horrible sanity ~ Edgar Allan Poe

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