Posted on February 8, 2014 by judithkusel
Eye meets eye…
Soul recognizes soul…
And the eternal dance of Love is re-ignited and has come from eternity….
I have written various articles on Twin-flames on this blog, and I get letters from all over the world asking me questions regarding their twin flames, as slowly realization is dawning, that meeting the Twin Flame might be like meeting to other half or yourself, but brings with it its own challenges.
I am writing this today because of three letters I got where the person has met the Twin flame (or presumes this – for often soul mates are confused with Twin flames, or the infatuation is such that one believes this person to be a twin, when it is not so), and then finds that the sex might be great, and the communication too, but the reality is that twin is not free or cannot be fully present in the relationship, or is behaving in a manner which is causing pain.
Sometimes patterns which were created over many lifetimes come to haunt them in this life, and unless those are released and new ones’ created, the same old destructive patterns will repeat themselves. For not all were angels in previous lives – indeed some were anything but. (That is why I love doing soul readings, for it will pinpoint where the pattern started, and how it is busy being repeated in this lifetime).
All relationships on this planet, cannot be based just on sex – however great the sex is: – at the beginning you cannot take the hands off each other and then later wonder how to get the spark going again, as reality starts dawning. For after the infatuation wears off and the sex, one still has to put up with the habits of the partner which irritates the living daylights out of one, or with the ex spouse, children, and everyone else who was there before the two met, and after the two met: – the ex’s don’t just disappear, nor the children, nor the parents, nor the friends and families. When chaos was created, it will remain chaos until order is restored, and balance.
Any relationship has great hidden lessons, and the greatest lesson of all, is more applicable for Twin flames that mirror each other more than any other, is that of CHALLENGE. Yes, it is a challenge to love oneself totally, utterly and completely – warts and all, shadow and light without a mask to hind behind: – and love another warts and all, shadow and light without a mask that they can hide behind.
I had a very interesting chat to one of my friends who is a marriage counselor. He pointed out that he counsels couples BEFORE they get married, and deals with each partner separately. He said that he can immediately spot where the two will have big challenges in their married life, as they differ completely in the way they handle and live their lives.
In this instance, the twin then might be a part of your own soul, but the lighter you are, the darker he will be – the more of a perfectionist you are – the more laid-back he will be. You might be brilliant with money matters and a billionaire, and she has not sense of money and spends all etc.
In Afrikaans they have a lovely term to name this: “die klein jakkalsies” (the little jackals – become big jackals). In the beginning when one cannot take the hands off each other, one is so sexually charged, and adrenalin junkies, that those little jackals are not noted – like him squeezing the toothpaste in the middle, while you neatly roll it up. He leaves his clothes all over the place, and you neatly have yours all labeled and boxed. You are happy-go-lucky and he dissects all and everything. You love all that you can love just as they are, and he goes and wants to label everything in his mind, and then label you too – like putting you in his laboratory and then making sure you react exactly as he tells you too…
To me this is the trump card: THE JOKER.
The Joker is the trickster and in as much as the twins can’t keep their hands off each other and their minds too (most of the times with women, and with men with their neatly boxed mind, that is when he is not fully busy somewhere else which might be about once a day – unless he is thinking of sex he he! He has a box in his mind neatly labeled with your name (and others) written on it. When he has finished the box he is currently busy with, and wants to take out the next, he might consider yours)
The Joker and trickster appear to teach us a beautiful lesson: YOU CAN NOT MAKE ANYONE HAPPY NOR FULFILL THEM. It is impossible – even if it is your twin flame.
So there you are having this amazing sex, and you are having orgasms and what not, and he just jumps out of bed, into his clothes and off he goes home to this wife (or to his laptop and work)– after all he has commitments and obligations there, for even as much as he loves you, he loves his job, kids too and his wife (even if he says he hates her, he does care for her in his own way). The fact is that his way of earning a living takes priority, even over you. You will never be number one on his list.
You think to yourself: “Have I not satisfied him? Have I been too much or too little?” And beat yourself up.
And the Joker sits there and has a good laugh……
The fact is that he cannot make you happy, just like he could not make his wife happy, just like he could not make anyone happy. He is not God.
The fact is that only you can make yourself happy, and decide to be happy and do the inner work necessary to love yourself so much, that whether he is in your life – or not – makes no difference. If he is there, you do not attach to him so much, that you are miserable when he is gone. For as much as you love having him there – as much you love having yourself to yourself and enjoy your own company. So if he suddenly disappears with floozie next door, then you are not in a state of trauma, but can merrily carry on without him (see how fast that brings him back).
A lot of people have this constant NEEDINESS. As long as you feel needy, and whine about have little he/she loves you, the needier you will become.
Nobody likes to have a needy person around, for at some time or another the other will get fed-up and walk out.
We are not meant to be needy persons. We are not meant to beg for love or attention, and neither are we meant to be doormats and have others walking all over us and wiping their feet on us. Nobody respects a needy person and definitely not doormats.
The more empowered you become from deep inside, and the more you love yourself and nurture that depth of soul and joyful beingness inside of you, the less needy you become. The more you enjoy your own company, and love conversing with your soul, and nurture yourself, body, mind, spirit and soul, the less you need someone else to make you happy.
That does not mean that you do not wish to be a relationship. It is just that you are so content with yourself that you can love another freely without trying to own him or her, or to manipulate, or control or whine with neediness and constant begging to be loved.
There is something immensely attractive and sexy about a woman who is empowered from deep within – and the same goes with a man.
They emit a radiance, and inner state of balance and equilibrium which shines through. They do not need to be perfect nor beautiful in the sense the world sees it, but when they enter a room they have a presence, which makes everyone notice them. That is because they are empowered from deep within. They have done the inner work, they have come to love themselves totally and unconditionally and then, when they do meet up with someone (note: someone – not necessarily the twin) they love wholeheartedly, without attaching. That means they love so much, that when that someone is taken away from them tomorrow, that love will still be there – wholeheartedly, even if the person has moved on.
Why? Because they know that love is eternally there. Love has been there ad infinitum. It does not matter how the person is behaving, or not behaving, doing or not doing in this life – you love that soul – no matter what, just like you love yourself – no matter what.
You love because that is the state that you are constantly in.
That state is not affected by anyone else – for you are solely in control of that state. That is your heart domain, and you cannot always choose the circumstances, or what happens, but you can choose your RE-ACTIONS to that.
When you move back into your heart and soul, then you will understand that one cannot let the inner working lasp For you have a lot of emotional stuff to work through and let go, and even if you switch partners like shoes, that emotional baggage will still be there, if you do not let go of it. Some people take all the baggage from one relationship into the next and the next and the next – the same old patterns. The switching of partners does not resolve that baggage, indeed it gets worse – then they end up blaming their partners for their own inner unhappiness, when in reality they have not healed inside.
So, remember, that with the Twin flame, all the baggage will get amplified, because the Twin will mirror back to you everything that you have not owned, nor made peace with deep within YOURSELF.
No one can skip the inner work. You can try, but it will come in the form of the Joker, until you finally understand and master the lesson.
That is the reality of life.
Yes, the twin can and does bring ecstasy, bliss and euphoria, but he or she will also bring that inner work that needs to be done – bang slap to your own heart, and there will be a big label on it that reads: “INNER HOUSEKEEPING AND CLEARING TO BE DONE!”
(Judith Kusel http://www.judith-kusel.com)