If you turn and face that darkness you not only heal yourself, but you pull the string on a thousand years of programming. Stuart Wilde
In order to know a thing, and transform it or transform ourselves through it, we have to go into it and experience it fully, which is why we’re here on earth, from what I understand… to experience all parts of this life that we encounter, and all of the feelings associated.
I’d guess that quite a few of us have lived unusual lives, being fringe-dweller types. Part of the new age ‘rules and regs’ is to keep your story to yourself. I don’t know where that notion came from, but I’m happy to ditch it. People’s stories contain jewels. Since we’re dwelling on the fringes, and we’re unraveling programming and the associated opinions, it’s good to offer a bit of the personal experience. Especially good are the redemption chapters that remain to be written!
Today’s story is about being poor and homeless. Poverty is unceasingly heavy, homelessness is incredibly cruel, and society holds a ‘downpressing’ opinion, making it a triple challenge. The word ‘poor’ is so loaded that we refuse to say it in relation to ourselves even if we fit the definition. Poor is undignified, low, bad, shameful, a burden, criminal, to be pitied… or so they say.
Maybe, in this upside down inside out world, we could begin the reprogramming by changing the meaning of words: rich could mean undignified, low, bad, shameful, a burden, criminal, to be pitied. And poor could mean ‘the ones we look up to’… or something like that.
We know the old programming very well: elites project their guilt and saturate the collective mind with ‘blame the poor’ messages. Christians try to spin the teachings of Jesus, insisting that he couldn’t have possibly meant what he said about the rich and the poor. New agers sell books and teach courses on manifesting abundance, and the implication is that we might be kind of ‘low vibe’ if we don’t get to that abundance real quick.
And then there is some light, from seasoned folks who know that kindness and love lead to safety and survival in a collapsing world. They’re kind, and they give help and receive help. From my own story I can offer this jewel: the relationship between the giver and receiver can be very high vibe – loving, conscious, and sacred, resulting in new life. That’s the yin/yang flow.
Okay, that having been said, I’d like to move on to a fringe-dweller story. This fringe dweller shakes off the projected hate, guilt and fear, and lives as seeming but not feeling poor and homeless.
I met Amraah at one of the Stuart Wilde Las Vegas seminars. She was in her late sixties at the time, and quite statuesque, dignified, and intelligent. She was homeless, and had been so for 15 years, living in a big, dark red van, with all of her worldly possessions. But then again, if a van can be a home, she had a home, and if frugal is not poor, she was frugal and experienced no ‘lack’.
To me, the interesting thing about Amraah was that if she suffered, she sure didn’t let it be known. She said she enjoyed her own company, and she enjoyed being close to nature, going to sleep when it’s dark, listening to the sounds, not being bothered by electrical currents, getting under the covers when its cold, swimming in a river when its hot. She had adapted, and had kept her self-respect.
We met again at the next Las Vegas seminar, and struck up a friendship. In the following years we spoke often, and I watched as she would settle in a dwelling for a few months, and then back into the van she would go. She was an expert seamstress, so a few dollars came in through that skill when she had electricity.
Amraah was enjoyable to talk with, offering her wisdom and the lessons of her experience. I remember a rather stern observation she made that helped me liberate myself from a harmful entanglement. Her words were typical of the way she did things: this woman can shake people out of denial.
Eventually our conversations slowed down. I would find out later that she had begun planning and saving in order to manifest a dream. Like so many of us, she wanted to leave the U.S., and establish something beautiful in a new location. She was not willing to fade out and live the last years of her life American style… hidden, worthless, in a nursing home. How we could do this to Elders, I don’t know; but cheers to her for refusing.
For her, the future was the Etrusca Ecuador Permaculture Plantation and Healing Temple: her dream of offering people a place to escape to, with health and healing available, and the fruits of Gaia. Her dream invited all others who would join her and join with her to materialize the place.
Amraah attributed the Etrusca idea to Stuart Wilde, since he had mentioned creating something similar. She decided to make it real by imagining, believing and acting on the dream.
In December of 2014 she notified me that she had saved enough money to drive from California to Ecuador with all of her belongings, in her red van. I’m talking about a 75 year old woman, alone, driving from California to Ecuador. The natural response would be No No NO – do not try it, this is dangerous, and very unwise. But there would be no discouraging word accepted.
She left for Mexico, and I followed her blog posts as she made her way south, across several borders. It was obviously not an easy journey, but every post was upbeat and interesting. Still, there were breaks in the narrative: a mention of a broken window with no explanation of what had happened. Then the word came through that Amraah has stopped in Panama, and she can go no farther.
Here is a quote from her blog: “If there is any one thing I have learned on this Journey, it is never to give up on myself. I began with a few stars in my eyes. I thought I had plenty of cash to get me where I was going. The Journey showed me how to cope with various kinds of criminal activity along the way, robbery by bribe on the road by transit officials, robbery in the parking lots by young fiends, and scandalous border charges by less than wholesome officials at several borders in Central America. It is possible to learn from both beauty and ugliness: I hold no rancor either for the losses I suffered or for the people who made very bad choices to perpetrate the ugliness.
The Journey also brought to me powerful and quite unlikely allies who smoothed my way making safety and direction out of my path. I made it this far with my good humor and my soul intact! I have to think that is a blessing.”
Hers is an amazing story, and I’m wondering sometimes if she is blazing a trail. This woman has looked death in the face, experienced judgment and disapproval, felt acceptance and admiration, and enjoyed plenty of alone time. Her desire is so humble, that people who share her dream of a healing place will contact her, and she will have company and help in the days ahead.
Here is my best for you dear lady! May your story spread far and wide. May you fully manifest a fringe-dweller’s dream, surrounded by friends who know that the people this world looks down on, the wise look up to, in gratitude.