I can post pictures of us all Firechasers, from my wedding. Except for your dad. He wasn't there because he was in Israel at the time. That's why the reception was held the following weekend. Again, this is another historical fact that Cindy would also remember. Anyone reading this thread, who is still in contact with Cindy, has enough bits of history now, that they could quiz her if curious enough to discover if we are/were family to her.
I understand the "amazement" followers must feel. They have seen Cindy's videos and believed her concern and love for her audience, and for mankind in general. Her older brother was very similar. I would never have married him otherwise. He was in a gospel band when I first met him. I purposely dated seekers of God and goodwill. So I can fully identify with anyone who experiences the shock of receiving very little goodwill in exchange, for giving away their love and support. It doesn't add up to all you believe to be true, about God and basic human kindness. Its a form of "conscience shock," a term I coined for the Jeckle/Hyde world I had stepped into.
I've tried to explain that phenomenon previously on this thread. But am here because I know what it's like to be pursued, won and then rejected and/or abused as "useless." From comments I have read from those who have experienced the same thing with Cindy, I know how these people feel. Though this type will tell you it's you never measuring up, not them, you can rest assured that is completely false. It IS them, not you. They DO know that.
This was verbally confirmed to me by David himself, when our divorce was final. He told me he'd miss me, because I was the ONLY ONE who could see through his shit. He knew what he'd been dishing out, but still believed that was a valid path to take. He told me I'd realize that life is just a game, and that "everyone was like him," a player. He believed he was a master player. He pawned those he "could." That was inner power to him. He fed his feelings of superior wit and intellengence this way. He played people to win, not lose. If they were more "real" than he, and he found he couldn't get control over that realness, he'd verbally destroy them as unreal, and send them packing.
Though David respected me for "seeing through his shit," he could in no way love me for it.
I told David on that final day together, that he could "do what he did, but just not here any longer." I didn't judge him for what he did, he knew I disapproved of that with my whole being. I let him go freely and without any negative feelings toward him, as God is the only capable judge of our hearts/souls. I felt compassion, but all union based on any mutual/reciprocal love had been destroyed (repeatedly.) Compassion was bedrock for me. It was all I had left. And i chose against anger, bitterness or ill will toward him. I had not requested alimony. I let him take all of our newest furniture, sound system, kitchen supplies etc. He took it all. I went to Goodwill to refurnish my home. I've lived on a shoestring, in peace, ever since. I did that because David's greatest love was for money. I did not touch that. And he was thrilled to leave without any divorce expenses or ongoing responsibilities toward me. We had nothing to show for 30 years. No savings, investments, etc. David spent money. He hated saving it. He believed he was going to be rich somehow, if he got me out of his way. This was communicated to him by entities who also told him his fame would be seen on tv one day. Whatever he thought he was, it would be huge and newsworthy.
Divorce for me, was just a way to send David off to his gods and his games with no ill will toward him.
My God and I took nothing, allowing his new life to begin. He'd already been seeking a new bride from the Philippians, telling me what he wanted, so he'd not repeat his mistake again (meaning me)
David told me I'd find out there were MORE people like HIM, than like me in the world. He knew the difference between two types of people. He was aware he was chosing his own way daily. I can cite examples if needed. But his complete admission to knowledgeable choices made, backs up his brother's statement regarding free will. And mindful chosing.
I should add, that David did not object to the sense of driveness he felt post chosing. Meaning. His "demons" provided the driving forces David needed. I had contacted a very reputable and well known exorcist 3 times. David liked the guy. This man lived in Oregon and told David over the phone which entities, at several levels, were coming into his energy field. Then he'd bind them for David and clear them. David would be less driven for a short time. After the third time I called (needed) this exorcist, I was told it was of no use. Because David never chose to walk away/change paths. David wanted that driveness back. These entities returned again, and as Jesus stated, they often brought others with them. I watched David choose this path repeatedly. He was never a victim needing rescue. He'd been rescued many times. Everyone he met either joined him or sought to rescue him, or both. I know it's hard to understand anyone wanting "driveness" rather than power. Love, as an inner power and peace, is not what he wanted to have within him. He knew which inner feelings/energies he enjoyed having.
I had told Firechasers that I felt badly that love didn't seem to work with David, which always made me feel defeated. But. I CAN tell you that at the root of David's choices, was his grandiose attempts to control God too. He'd get angry at God, because he could NOT manipulate Him. David tried and tried to do so. He told me he chose Lucifer because he'd get what he wanted. The mystery to me, even to this day, is what in the world he wanted. I believe he wanted the power to (literally) create his own world. And I think he believed God should grant him that power, or He was a "useless" God. However, David's idea of a perfect world was extremely beehive based. He wanted to BE the Queen Bee, surrounded by drones. And when I listen to Cindy speak and refer to herself as the Queen of Queens, as though that position was open and someone had to do it, her exacting expections from her drones were also in plane view in the comment section. It's mind control. Its not the telepathically ruled consciousness of a swarming community, based on love and light, so often used as a model for utopianism. Though these leaders picture something akin to that in their heads, they themselves are not THE Source Of Life, capable of giving life, sustaining life, directing life, or upholding life. If such a leader is not laying their own lives down for their sheep, they are "self appointed," not "called." They are false messiahs. Messianic narccisism is stil real today. We need to test leaders by their character and actions, not their words. That's called wisdom. Faith NEEDS wisdom to go before it.