Date: Wednesday, 4-Jul-2018 19:43:24
Hi, folks -
Received via e-mail:
Subject: MIDWEEK BY ZAP 7-04-18
From: "The Office of Poofness" <email@example.com>
Date: Wed, July 4, 2018 4:41 pm
HAPPY 4TH AMERICA!
A WONDERFUL TIME TO CELEBRATE FREEDOM AS IT IS REALLY COMING. YOU HAVE HEARD THE RUMORS THAT GIVE HOPE ONLY TO SHATTER IT AS THE RUMORS DO NOT COME TRUE. BUT THERE ARE ELEMENTS OF TRUTH IN THERE AND THE BIGGEST ONE IS THAT IT IS INEVITABLE AND WILL BE DONE.
BEFORE IT WAS THE ADMIRAL GOING IN AND SIGNING OFF. NOW IT IS TRUMP GOING IN AND SIGNING OFF. WHICH ROOM THEY BOTH ARE GOING INTO IS THE QUESTION. SOURCES SAY THE OVAL OFFICE. SOME SAY IT IS THE SECRET BEDROOM OFF TO THE SIDE. SOME SAY ITS ACTUALLY THE BATHROOM BECAUSE NOBODY WOULD THINK OF IT. SNUFFLES IS LAUGHING AT ALL OF THESE SUPPOSITIONS. IT IS ACTUALLY THE SECRET CUPBOARD UNDER THE STAIRS.
BY NOW SO MANY ARE SO JADED AND OVERLOADED WITH INFORMATION FROM ALL THE WEBSITES. SO I AND ANOTHER BROTHER OFFER SOME INSIGHT FOR YOUR DISCERNMENT.
Misanthropist’s Guide to Ascension
You know you’re advanced in the ascension process if you observe:
1. Your hearing has improved dramatically as you are now able to hear paint drying as you wait for the RV – 800#’s announcements.
2. You have reached the technical ability to read and interpret a decibel meter and your pleas to the Universe to “get the show on the road”, are consistently above 100 dB.
3. Having studied significantly on the topic of hearing loss, you acknowledge that failure to hear the Universe respond to your ceaselessly imploring IT to begin the exchanges is absolutely NOT your fault; as any sound above 100 dB can cause hearing loss, and the loss is related both to the power of the sound as well as the length of exposure – hence – the Universe simply cannot hear your supplications.
4. Your consciousness has risen to a state of stoicism as you silently witness life unfolding around you as though in a trance. The trance being induced by listening to your former friends repeating the mantra “you’re nuts” alternating frequently with variations such as “deluded soul” and “phreakin’ dreamer” and “get a job”.
5. You no longer give a shit about the banks and credit card companies’ threats to close your accounts or cancel your cards as you know once the RV is done you can forever proffer the single-digit salute to the whole shebang.
6. You have succeeded in significant memory training, and your repertoire of sixty-two update websites’ URL’s is committed to memory.
7. You can calculate on the fly your final bank balance post–RV for every exchange rate from sixteen cents to twenty-eight dollars in five different currencies.
8. Your grocery shopping list now can easily cover an entire postage stamp.
9. You have memorized sixteen bank presentations including catch-words such as “humanitarian” and “fiduciary accounts” and have figured out how to include them as nouns, adjectives and prepositions.
10. Having now become a master of patience, all that’s required now is to regrow fingernails out of the stumps you’ve chewed off.
11. Your favorite cartoon is the two buzzards sitting on the sequoia with the caption reading "f*kit" I’m gonna go out and kill something”.
HAVE A VERY JOYOUS 4TH OF JULY AND TAKE HEART AS THE RELEASES ARE HERE AND WILL MAKE A SIGNIFICANT CHANGE IN ALL OUR LIVES.
I’M GONNA GO WATCH YANKEE DOODLE DANDY ALL OVER AGAIN. I LOVE THE OLD FLICKS WITH GINGER AND FRED AND DONALD AND AND…WHAT A GOLDEN AGE IN ENTERTAINMENT. WE GOTTA TEACH OUR KIDS SOME OF THIS STUFF SO THEY HAVE THE BACKGROUND WE HAVE.
MUCH LOVE AND GOD BLESS.
LOVE AND LIGHT
IN OUR SERVICE
“GOD IS; I AM; WE ARE”
“BE GOOD, BE LEGAL, TELL TRUTH”
JULY 4, 2018
COPYRIGHT ZAP 2013-2018
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With Much Gratitude and Appreciation,
Love and Kisses,
"The Office of Poofness"
ZAP, Susan and Staff
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