OUT OF MIND
Would you like to react to this message? Create an account in a few clicks or log in to continue.
Latest topics
» Rep. Bill Johnson: Democrat Efforts to Censor Dissident Media ‘Eerily Similar’ to Communist China
Lessons in letting people go EmptyToday at 12:51 pm by PurpleSkyz

» FDA Says J&J COVID Vaccine ‘Safe,’ Emergency Approval Expected Within Days
Lessons in letting people go EmptyToday at 12:22 pm by PurpleSkyz

» Following Lawsuit, CDC Removes Claim “Vaccines Do Not Cause Autism” from its Website
Lessons in letting people go EmptyToday at 12:19 pm by PurpleSkyz

» Entire Federal Reserve Payment System CRASHES
Lessons in letting people go EmptyToday at 12:16 pm by PurpleSkyz

» Public Health Officials Are Lying About Lockdowns
Lessons in letting people go EmptyToday at 12:08 pm by PurpleSkyz

» Biden Gives $4 BILLION to WHO and Bill Gates for Global COVID Vaccine Injury Compensation Program but Nothing for the People?
Lessons in letting people go EmptyToday at 12:03 pm by PurpleSkyz

» Astrophysicists find rare star spinning backwards
Lessons in letting people go EmptyYesterday at 4:41 pm by PurpleSkyz

» Bright Meteor Fireball Flashes across Sky over Alberta, Canada
Lessons in letting people go EmptyYesterday at 4:38 pm by PurpleSkyz

» Everything is Fake in Utopia
Lessons in letting people go EmptyYesterday at 4:34 pm by PurpleSkyz

» Biden Caught In Another Big Lie – Claims More Deaths from COVID than WWI, WWII and Vietnam Wars Combined – Simply Not True
Lessons in letting people go EmptyYesterday at 4:26 pm by PurpleSkyz

» Fire Fauci is Trending on Twitter and It’s Long Overdue
Lessons in letting people go EmptyYesterday at 4:08 pm by PurpleSkyz

» “Irrefutable Proof Is Coming Soon – We Are NOT Done” – Sidney Powell Responds to Supreme Court Decision to Ignore Election Fraud
Lessons in letting people go EmptyYesterday at 4:02 pm by PurpleSkyz

» UK Report: Experimental MRNA Injections Caused 1716 Cases Of Eye Disorders And Left 22 People Blind
Lessons in letting people go EmptyYesterday at 3:59 pm by PurpleSkyz

» Hidden message found on Mars parachute
Lessons in letting people go EmptyYesterday at 3:47 pm by PurpleSkyz

» Boris is to Blame!
Lessons in letting people go EmptyYesterday at 11:41 am by PurpleSkyz

» 75% Of US Troops Refused Taking COVID-19 Vaccine Says Pentagon Report
Lessons in letting people go EmptyYesterday at 11:37 am by PurpleSkyz

» Moralization of COVID-19 Clouds Human Judgment
Lessons in letting people go EmptyYesterday at 11:30 am by PurpleSkyz

» Justice Thomas Blasts Supreme Court For Dismissing Election Fraud Lawsuit In Scathing Dissent
Lessons in letting people go EmptyYesterday at 10:47 am by PurpleSkyz

» Good People Doing Good Things — Texans
Lessons in letting people go EmptyYesterday at 10:42 am by PurpleSkyz

» 22 More Fatalities After the Experimental mRNA COVID Injection in the Netherlands
Lessons in letting people go EmptyYesterday at 10:34 am by PurpleSkyz



You are not connected. Please login or register

OUT OF MIND » PERCEPTUAL AWARENESS » THE SHIFT IN CONSCIOUSNESS » Lessons in letting people go

Lessons in letting people go

Go down  Message [Page 1 of 1]

1Lessons in letting people go Empty Lessons in letting people go Fri Nov 30, 2018 8:49 am

PurpleSkyz

PurpleSkyz
Admin
Lessons in letting people go Moving+on+quotes+letting+go+(10)

Lessons in letting people go
By Nimue Brown


I’ve always been a people pleaser. I’ve always cared what other people thought of me, and whether they thought I was good enough. Demands (implicit or explicit) to give more, do more, be more useful, ask for less, make less fuss and so forth, have tended to impact on me. I’ve spent much of my life trying to be good enough for other people. As a consequence, I’ve spent more time than was a good idea in the company of people for whom I could never be good enough.
One of the things I’ve done this year is to ask at every turn, what’s in it for me? I’ve found it massively helpful as an approach. On a number of occasions now, I’ve identified situations where there really was nothing in it for me, but I was being asked to give rather a lot. I’ve learned to say no to that, and to walk away.
In the past, I would have felt guilty about not being good enough for someone. No matter how preposterous the situation, or how impossible the hoops I was being asked/told to jump through. Failing to do what other people wanted of me would leave me depressed, anxious, guilt ridden and trying to cut bits off myself so as to better fit through the endless hoops. It’s taken me a long time to learn that some people can’t be pleased. It’s usually the most demanding people who are the hardest to actually make happy.
Alongside this I’ve learned that I can have people in my life who just like me being around. People who don’t need me to do anything in particular for them. People who enjoy me being happy. It makes a lot of difference. Unsurprisingly, the more time I spend with people who accept me as I am, the happier and more relaxed I am.
Lessons in letting people go Deborah+tindle+2

The people who want me to be things I am not, have, with hindsight, wanted some weird and incompatible things. They’ve wanted things on their terms that should never be entirely one sided. They’ve wanted all the consequences of being unconditionally loved, while being free to act like they have no obligations. Conditional love is never enough for some people. The idea of reciprocal love, care, affection and support offends them. They’ve wanted the devotion that gets the work done, and the freedom to pretend that the devotion does not exist. They’ve wanted absolute care and attention while making it clear that it must never be apparent that I’m making an effort, so that they don’t feel awkward or pressured by it. And so on. Some games are not winnable.
I have learned this year that I do not have to feel guilty about the people I am unable to please. If I’m not good enough for them, they should let go and move on. It’s no good standing around telling me how rubbish I am, or how problematic, and expecting me to fix everything. Also, I’ve never yet got into one of these where it seemed possible to really fix anything or ever be good enough. The people who treat me as though I am the villain in their life story while at the same time asking for saintly levels of tolerance, forgiveness and indulgence, are people I don’t need. Onwards!

Lessons in letting people go 252358296-_FileName_Yoddler_419_Large


Thanks to: https://druidlife.wordpress.com



  

Back to top  Message [Page 1 of 1]

Permissions in this forum:
You cannot reply to topics in this forum