Latest topics
» Dave Schmidt Live Stream, Oct. 12th
Today at 8:40 pm by PurpleSkyz

» Anonymous Hillary I made a mistake Americans died
Today at 7:22 pm by PurpleSkyz

» Wingit Call 10/26/2016 With Dinar Guru Hunters - Masters Trust Dinar RV With Richard T. Howard
Today at 7:17 pm by PurpleSkyz

» Disgraced Former Clinton Staffer Jailed For Corruption
Today at 6:13 pm by PurpleSkyz

» Nick Giammarino ~ Translated CBI Strategic Plan 2016-2020 Available Now
Today at 5:49 pm by PurpleSkyz

» 10/26/2016 -- Large Earthquake strikes Italy
Today at 5:45 pm by PurpleSkyz

» Massive Fireball Crashes to Earth Near Lake Baikal In Russia
Today at 5:43 pm by PurpleSkyz

» Black Hole On The Sun Blasting Earth October 26, 2016
Today at 2:48 pm by PurpleSkyz

» The Roman Catholic Church of Satan
Today at 2:31 pm by PurpleSkyz

» Jeff Rense & Tim Rifat - A World Full of Satanic Darkness
Today at 2:29 pm by PurpleSkyz

» This Weeks RV/GCR Chatter
Today at 1:01 pm by PurpleSkyz

» Dr. Steven Greer - "UNACKNOWLEDGED" UPDATE: October 12th 2016
Today at 12:16 pm by PurpleSkyz

» POOFness for OCT 25: QUICKIE UPDATE (that says nothing because I am a lying internet panhandler)
Today at 10:38 am by PurpleSkyz

» Anna von Reitz ~ Cleaning Up The Civil War --- 150 Years Later
Today at 10:24 am by PurpleSkyz

» Hawaiian Star Gate Opens After ‘Black Knight’ Satellite Activated
Today at 9:40 am by PurpleSkyz

» AllState Dealer Involved In A Currency Scam - AllState Cares (Educational Video)
Today at 9:34 am by PurpleSkyz

» The Fringe Begins
Today at 9:23 am by PurpleSkyz

» 5 Most Common Myths About Space
Today at 9:22 am by aestheticmedic

» When Tomatoes Were Blamed For Witchcraft and Werewolves
Today at 9:13 am by PurpleSkyz

Today at 9:09 am by PurpleSkyz

» Karen Hudes ~ What is Happening on the GCR
Today at 9:00 am by PurpleSkyz

» 12 Signs of the Higher State of Consciousness
Today at 8:56 am by PurpleSkyz

» Doorway Found Into Earths Moon At Bancroft Crater
Today at 8:45 am by PurpleSkyz

» Scott C. Waring Lightened An Image of An Asteroid in Space And What Appeared Was Astonishing
Today at 8:38 am by PurpleSkyz

» Interwebs of Gaia energetics are strengthened
Today at 8:31 am by PurpleSkyz

» WiFi Makes Your Brain Bleed
Today at 8:06 am by PurpleSkyz

» This Incredible Fabric Generates Electricity From Sunlight And Movement
Today at 7:48 am by PurpleSkyz

» Merkel insane?
Today at 2:22 am by bs4ever

» Saturn’s Hex Becomes Golden
Today at 12:03 am by PurpleSkyz

» BREAKING - Wikileaks - EX CEO Of Clinton Foundation Seeking Asylum For Exposing Clinton Corruption
Yesterday at 11:59 pm by PurpleSkyz

» The Petrified Media Know Hillary's Campaign Is In Freefall
Yesterday at 11:50 pm by aestheticmedic

» POOFness for OCT 24: FINAL MILE (before the Feds shut us down)
Yesterday at 11:38 pm by Red Panda

» Running for President
Yesterday at 10:27 pm by Jaguar-2016

You are not connected. Please login or register


Being Me Is Perfect. For Me.

View previous topic View next topic Go down  Message [Page 1 of 1]

1 Being Me Is Perfect. For Me. on Sun Aug 04, 2013 7:05 pm


Being Me Is Perfect. For Me.

Posted by heartlightdg in General August 4, 2013

For as long as I can remember, I have thought there was something “wrong” with me for being a quiet person who gets nervous in social situations.  I am nervous to talk to new people, reluctant to make phone calls, and freaked out to state what I need to say to authority figures.  I will go out of my way to avoid such situations unless I force myself to go through with them.
I’ve always been a watcher, an observer and a thinker with little to say.  Until I get to know someone, I’m pretty quiet.  Lots of thoughts go through my head but I don’t always feel the need to share them.  When I do, sometimes I prefer to write them down.  I have to be feeling really passionate or confident that I have something of “value” to add to a conversation before the thoughts in my head come out verbally.  In groups of more than three, it’s a guarantee that I let others talk before me.
I have never condoned a basic part of my personality, the part that is an introvert.  It always seemed to be a flaw in my character.  I have always wanted to be more outgoing and more comfortable with others.  I envied those who had such easy-going manners and social skills.  I envied those who were comfortable in their own skins.  They always seem to know what to say and are confident in who they are.  I often mumble, say the “wrong” things or end up tongue-tied.  Or I have nothing to say and look very stand-offish.  In high school, I was labelled stuck up and a bitch because I was quiet and not very outgoing.  (Go figure how I ended up loving being a cheerleader for five years!)  I definitely allowed others to color my beliefs about myself and I allowed their judgments to become mine.  I saw myself as lacking [name a quality] and persuaded myself that I was ”wrong” simply for being me.
I have made myself “wrong” for being who I am because I am not like others that I admire.
This past week, I was hugely triggered by our upcoming Retreat’s talent show.  Oh hell no! was my first reaction.  I can’t do that!  I had a meltdown just thinking about it.  I don’t have any talents to showcase anyhow, I thought.  Nope.  I’ll just watch!  Then my inner voice spoke up and told me I really need some help with this belief.  It’s an ongoing, deeply entrenched pattern that is holding me back.
So Friday I had a session with Veronica and Eloheim because I want to move past this.  During the session, Eloheim called me out on my self judgment, big time.  They made it clear that I am not wrong because I feel the way I do.  It’s just my truth.  Period.  Short, factual statement.  My truth is not wrong, I am not wrong for being in my truth, whatever that is.  And my truth is, I do get nervous around groups.  My truth is I am much more comfortable writing than speaking.  My truth is that I am quiet.  And it’s okay.  It’s my truth!
There’s nothing wrong with me like I always believed.  I’m okay as I am.  It’s not necessary to change that component.  What’s necessary is to let go of the belief I am messed up because I prefer to stay quiet and groups make me nervous.  I totally felt accepted and loved by Eloheim.  I felt comforted.  I felt the energy as they pushed for me to understand this.  And push they did.  I realised I am loved for who I am.  I’m okay the way I am.  I am not broken.  And of course, I cried (I seem to do a lot of that these days).  How freeing is that knowledge?!  You have no idea how much space was freed up inside me when I let that go.
Why didn’t I see this before with all I have learned in the last ten plus years?   Why did I need permission to accept that part of me?  I don’t know.  But hey, at least I get it now.
I can’t tell you how different I felt when I woke up the next day.   I walked around feeling so entirely ME that I was totally comfortable in my own quiet skin.  It gave me such confidence.
For example, I went shopping yesterday to find some gifts for people.  I was gone a lot longer than I had intended so the husband was less than thrilled.  When I got home, we could have had a tiff about it, but I didn’t feel the need to be defensive like usual.  (Because I felt confident in my actions.)  I didn’t apologise for or explain why I was gone for so long, it was a fact,  a done deal, and it was my truth though I did tell him about my day.  His reaction to me?  Far different in return than normal.  Very interesting.  Very, very interesting.  I accepted me, and he did, too.  We created dinner together and the evening was fine.
Popeye was called to mind after my session, “I yam what I yam!”  Period.  Short, factual statement.
Pass the spinach, please.   :D
Raising my glass to synchronicity…today my friend posted this article Myths About Introverts  to my timeline on Facebook.  I love it!

Thanks to:

  I became insane, with long intervals of horrible sanity ~ Edgar Allan Poe

View previous topic View next topic Back to top  Message [Page 1 of 1]

Permissions in this forum:
You cannot reply to topics in this forum